Navigating the Transition Back to Work Post-Baby

Returning to work after embracing the whirlwind that is life with a new baby is a voyage full of contrasting feelings. It's a jumble of excitement as you reconnect with your career, the guilt of entrusting your precious little one to another's care, and the anxiety of juggling it all. I'm well-acquainted with this rollercoaster of emotions because I've been there - twice.

Hello, fellow mamas. I'm Kailah, a teacher by trade, a business owner by ambition, and most importantly, a mother to two wonderful girls aged 4 and 1. Earlier this year, I embarked on the challenging journey of transitioning back to full-time work after my maternity leave ended. Only this time, it wasn't just teaching full-time. I was also steering the ship of my business, Raising Mamas, all while my eldest daughter was stepping into the exciting world of kindergarten and my youngest was hitting her first-year milestones.

Much like many of you, I grappled with concerns. Could I manage both my roles effectively? How would my youngest adjust to my daytime absence? Despite these apprehensions, I summoned my courage, fuelled up on copious amounts of coffee, and dove headfirst into the task.

Every mother's journey back to work is unique, but I hope that by sharing my experiences, you might glean some useful insights, find a measure of solace, or at the very least, feel reassured that you're not alone in this. So, shall we delve into this journey together?

Preparing for the Transition

Early Planning:

If there's one lesson I've learned as a mother, it's that planning is key. This truth rang particularly true when preparing to return to work post-baby. One of the first steps I took during my maternity leave was to open up a line of communication with my employer. This isn't just important—it's essential. Your employer can play a significant role in making your transition back to work smoother.

Ideally, we might all wish for a phased return to work—starting with part-time hours and gradually working up to full-time. Unfortunately, for many of us, including me, this isn't always a financially feasible option. As much as I would have loved to ease back into teaching with a part-time role initially, I found myself stepping back into a full-time position.

However, there was a silver lining. The school assigned me a year level that I had previously taught. This familiarity helped immensely, easing my anxieties about jumping back into the deep end. I wasn't just treading water—I was swimming.

The takeaway here? Plan as much as possible and have open discussions with your employer. Even if a phased return isn't feasible, there may be other ways to make your transition easier, like returning to a familiar role or project. Every bit helps, and it all starts with planning and communication.

Childcare:

Choosing the right childcare option for your little one is a vital step in your journey back to work. It's a personal choice that hinges on a number of factors, from location and trustworthiness to cost.

In my case, my return to work this time was a smoother journey, thanks to our established relationship with the daycare where my eldest already attended. They say there's no teacher quite like experience, and I found that to be absolutely true.

From my first round of navigating daycare, I've gleaned some insights that I believe could help:

Begin Your Hunt Early: I found that daycare centres could have long waiting lists, particularly if you're looking for a spot mid-year. Starting the search early in the year generally makes things easier, so be proactive and schedule those tours as soon as possible.

Trust Your Gut: As mothers, we seem to have a built-in sixth sense. I learned to trust mine, and I urge you to do the same. As you walk through prospective childcare centres, listen to your intuition. You'll sense when a place feels just right.

Ask, Ask, Ask: I can't emphasize this enough. Ask all the questions that come to mind during your tours, and pay close attention to the responses. Your peace of mind is invaluable.

Saying goodbye to your little one at drop-off can be heart-wrenchingly tough. In my experience, nurturing a good relationship with your child's educators is a crucial part of easing this transition. Every child is different and may need unique comfort strategies during the initial separation period. For my eldest, it was the comfort of a familiar educator's arms that helped her settle as I left.

Consider what might ease this separation for your child. Perhaps a favourite toy or a loved comfort item might provide solace? Could a certain routine make goodbyes less tearful? Putting thought into these details can make your parting moments easier for both you and your little one.

The Emotional Aspect

Dealing with Guilt and Anxiety:

Returning to work post-baby isn't just a physical transition—it's a deeply emotional one. Many mums, including myself, grapple with the inevitable 'mother's guilt.' Whether you're a first-time mum or adding another sibling to your family, that guilt can bubble up, making an already challenging transition even more complex.

Let me share my own experience: The guilt never truly leaves. It might sit quietly in the back of your mind as you kiss your child goodbye at daycare, or it might crash onto you like a wave in the middle of a busy workday. It can sometimes feel like we're wired to feel guilty for not being glued to our children every minute of every day.

But here's the thing—it's normal. It's a testament to the depth of your love for your child, not a measure of your inadequacy as a mum.

So, how did I navigate this guilt? I found my 'why.' Your 'why' is the compelling force that guides you, motivates you, and reassures you when the guilt weighs heavy. For me, my 'why' was a mixture of personal and professional fulfilment. I took pride and joy in my teaching career, and I wanted to provide for my family. But a substantial part of my 'why' was knowing how much my girls loved their daycare. Witnessing them thrive socially, participate in exciting activities, and learn so much became my comforting balm on those guilt-ridden days.

Separation anxiety, too, is a part of this transition, affecting both you and your child. It's a natural response to a significant change, and it reflects the beautiful bond you share with your little one.

As I mentioned earlier, easing into this change with comforting goodbyes and familiar items can help manage this anxiety. Over time, as the new routine becomes more familiar, the separation anxiety will likely lessen.

I've had my fair share of those tear-jerking moments. One instance is still fresh in my memory—I had just dropped off my girls at daycare, and they were happily engaged in their games. As I pulled out of the carpark, I spotted my four-year-old at the fence, tears streaming down her face. That sight—it shattered my heart, and yes, I sobbed all the way to work. But remember, it's okay to have those moments, to cry in the carpark, or anywhere else for that matter. These are all part of this profound journey we call motherhood.

Finding Support:

On this journey of transitioning back to work post-baby, I've discovered that support isn't just important—it's absolutely crucial. No one should have to navigate this journey alone, and the strength found in a supportive network can be invaluable.

I've been fortunate to have a supportive partner who has been an anchor during this transition, assisting with childcare when the girls are sick, presenting a united front when it comes to home responsibilities, and providing emotional support.

Family and friends have also been pillars of strength. They've been there to lend a listening ear, helping hands, or even just a comforting hug on the tougher days. One day, I remember coming home from work, overwhelmed by a particularly challenging day, and finding my best friend waiting at my doorstep with a home-cooked meal. The relief and gratitude I felt in that moment are indescribable.

In the professional sphere, my employer and colleagues have been a source of practical advice and support that's specific to my work environment. The understanding and flexibility they have shown have significantly eased my transition.

But sometimes, the most valuable advice and comfort comes from those who are walking the same path. That's where communities like our Raising Mamas Mothers Group on the Sunshine Coast come in. This is a space where mums can share experiences, ask questions, and provide support and advice to each other. It's heartening to know that others are experiencing similar challenges and triumphs—it reminds me that I'm not alone in this journey.

Remember, it's perfectly okay to lean on others for support. Don't hesitate to reach out when you need it. Transitioning back to work post-baby is a significant life change, and having a strong support system around you can make the world of difference.

Practical Tips for the Transition

Balancing Work and Home Life:

Striking a balance between professional responsibilities and motherhood has been one of the most challenging aspects of my return to work post-baby. The process has been a journey of learning to manage not only my time but also my emotional investments in each role.

Initially, I found myself falling into the trap of overcompensation. Guilty about my time away from the girls, I was pushing myself harder at work. It took a moment of self-realisation - catching up on admin work at the dinner table, not being fully present as my four year old and husband told me about their days - that made me understand I was trying to meet an unrealistic expectation I had set for myself. Being a dedicated teacher and ambitious business owner didn't make me any less of a loving mother.

The key to striking this balance was setting clear boundaries. My lunch breaks became sacrosanct - a time for me to catch a breath and disconnect briefly from work-related responsibilities. I started implementing a hard stop to checking work emails after 5 pm, no matter how tempting it was to clear my inbox.

When I was home, I made an effort to be fully present, to push away the worries of work, and to focus on the girls. Those little moments - like playing pretend tea parties with my eldest or simply watching my youngest discover a new toy - became my solace, my time to recharge and reconnect.

And as I consciously committed to these changes, I noticed the quality of my time spent both at work and at home improved significantly. Work hours became more productive, and the time with my family became more fulfilling. The bedtime stories with my daughters, our weekend family picnic outings, and even our silly dance-offs in the living room, all of these took on a new meaning. They weren't just routines or activities; they were cherished moments where I could be wholly a mother, wholly myself.

So remember, it's not just about the quantity of time, but the quality. The balance isn't always perfect, and there are days when the boundaries blur. But by attempting to set these boundaries and honour them, you can ensure that you are fully present and engaged in both aspects of your life, making the transition back to work a bit smoother.

Time and Stress Management:

Navigating time and stress effectively became my secret to juggling my roles as a working mum. While it took some time to find what worked best for me, I hope sharing my experiences can provide some useful tips.

Plan Ahead: Meal prepping has become my go-to strategy. Every Sunday, you'll find me in the kitchen, cooking large batches of meals. I'd then freeze portions for the week, securing the knowledge that my family has nutritious meals ready to go. This routine not only freed up my weeknight hours but also spared me the dreaded question: 'what's for dinner?' after a long day at work and school.

Delegate: My husband and I have always been pretty great at sharing household responsibilities. Whether it was him taking up the baton for bath time or taking turns in doing the weekly grocery run, the support in these shared tasks significantly relieved both our workloads. It also gives him opportunities for more daddy-daughter bonding time.

Prioritise: When you’re juggling so much, it’s vital to recognise you can't do everything at once. There was a pile of laundry that sat in my living room for days (let’s be honest, it could have been weeks), but I had to learn to be okay with it. The priority was spending quality time with my girls when they needed me, not the folded clothes.

As for managing stress, here are a few strategies that I've found invaluable:

Open Communication: Whether with your partner or your employer, expressing your needs and concerns can lead to adjustments that significantly lessen your stress.

Reach Out: There were times I felt overwhelmed, and those were the moments I realised the importance of my support network. Whether it was a phone call to my mum or a quick coffee catch up with fellow mums from our Raising Mamas Mothers Group, expressing my worries and fears often provided a fresh perspective and reminded me that I wasn't alone in this journey.

Taking time for myself became a non-negotiable part of my routine, no matter how packed my schedule was. Even something as simple as a 15-minute walk in the park or an uninterrupted hot cup of coffee while the girls napped became my stress-busters, my little moments of rejuvenation.

Remember, what works for one person may not work for another. It's a process of exploration, of trial and error, to find strategies that fit best for you and your family. Be patient with yourself, reach out for help when you need it, and know that it's okay not to have all the answers.

Returning to work post-baby is a significant transition, full of challenges, uncertainties, and potential stressors. But remember, it's okay to feel overwhelmed at times; it's part of the journey. You're not alone, and there's no 'perfect' way to navigate this transition. It's about discovering what works best for you and your family, and it's perfectly fine if that looks different from someone else's approach.

I'm six months into my return to work after my second baby, and I can tell you that while it hasn't always been easy, it has definitely been possible. We've found our rhythm, our own way of making it work. Some days are smoother than others, and there are still moments when I feel like I'm juggling more balls than I can handle. But, those moments pass, and every day we learn and adjust.

Remember, it's not a 'one size fits all' situation. You are unique, your child is unique, and your circumstances are unique. Trust yourself, give yourself grace, and know that it's okay to have difficult days.

And most importantly, know that you are doing an amazing job. Balancing the demands of work and motherhood is no small feat. You're showing up every day, doing the best you can, and that's something to be proud of.